Save time everyday by getting to the point! Improve your communication by saying LESS!

I’m all for small talk and chit chat at appropriate times or on a long lazy afternoon chatting to a friend but if you would like others to listen to you more, understand you better and save time then saying less is an important communication skill to have.

Often some people have really important things to say, idea’s, information, instruction and/or direction to share but they bury their words amongst so many other words that what they’re saying is not actually clear.

The drawbacks from talking too much can be:

• If you fail to get to the point you can risk your ideas being over-looked or going un-noticed. 
• You say too much trying to justify your point instead of staying it straight you can appear as being convincing instead of speaking with clear confidence and conviction.
• People can automatically tune out because you have a reputation of going on and on about… well not too much really!  

Why don’t people get to the point more often?

• They like the sound of their own voice!
• They feel they have to justify and convince others of their way or point of view
• They are hiding the truth

Facilitating our Jina Life Coaching Personal Development Programs and in my coaching role I have done a lot of listening to others talk.

Sometimes when listening to a client’s story, amongst all their words I can see the few that actually speak their truth.

I can then summarise this back to the client e.g: So Mary what you’re saying is that you are deciding to either stay with your husband or leave him.

And so many times with big talkers they reply back with oh that’s putting it a bit harsh isn’t it! But it’s in fact exactly what they’re thinking. Because they cover it up with all these other factors and aspects they fail to address their problems because they can’t see their own truth.

Why are people clouded by their own words and conversations they even have with themselves?

They do this so their truth and reality won’t look so bad, won’t be so bad when put into the bigger scheme of things….

The other thing I have noticed about big talkers who fail to get to the point is that they are the ones who struggle the most with getting things done. The just feel so overwhelmed with all the things in their life, all the tasks they need to do to get to their goals.

My advice tips in getting to the point are:

1. Try getting to the point more often this month.
2. Keep the social small talk where required but otherwise become conscious of getting straight to the point – just do it for fun and see how it goes for you!
3. When you are clear with what you say, it means you know exactly what it is you are trying to say. You know how people can talk for half an hour and then say ‘What I’m really trying to say is..’ Well just start there!
4. You look more confident and in control when you get to the point for clearly you know what you want and where you’re going.

Watch yourself save time for more fun things in your life!

Live Your Best Life!

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com

It can be amazing what we ‘think’ about ourselves… and what our reality is….

I’ve done several exercises both myself and with my clients this year on taking measures to clearly see one’s own reality.

How did we do this? What were the outcomes? You will be amazed!

Why don’t you be amazed at your own self and learn something insightful by learning about our Spiritual Coaching Programs, reading this article and committing to this easy exercise yourself?

Client Example No.1 – Drinking

Belief: I only drink 5 standard drinks per week
Activity: Stepped back through the previous week with his wife counting exactly how many drinks, where they drank, who were they with etc etc
Reality: 13 standard drinks were consumed
Reason for incorrect belief: Client thought he drank a lot less than everyone else around him, his drinks paled in comparison however still added up and was nowhere close to his reality.
Outcome: greater awareness of alcohol consumption resulted in reduced ‘actual’ drinking habits to match desired number of 5.

Client Example No. 2 – Sport

Belief: I always stand at least 4 feet behind the baseline of the tennis court when returning.
Activity: Set up a camera only capturing the area 4 feet behind the baseline
Reality: Client was NEVER in the video thus they were never actually standing 4 feet behind the baseline like they thought
Reason for incorrect belief: Disillusioned!
Outcome: Consciously stepped way back behind the baseline to practice actually successfully returning from there

My Example! Hours worked as a small business owner

Now this is my example and I did this because I know I’m an action oriented person, I love my work, people have the perception of me that I work A LOT of hours in my coaching business but I also felt that well I don’t work ‘that’ much because I am constantly taking time off whenever I want…

Belief: I may work 40 hours but maybe up to 50+ or more hours per week…
Activity: Set up a time sheet of actual hours worked
Reality: Over an entire month I averaged 41.5 hours per week
Reason for incorrect belief: Just didn’t know because my personal life is priority, work fits around that and coaching never really feels like work to me!
Outcome: Consciously more aware of time and hours spent working, increased focus time of those hours which generated and even greater productivity, even better business in the same number of hours!

Take the time to do this activity on some aspect of your life

- it could be how much sleep you actually get, your exercise reality, food intake or how much time you in fact spend quality time with your partner or kids.

Sometimes it can work in reverse! Especially with achievements at work – Often people can feel that they’re not getting anywhere but when they actually look back and reflect they have sometimes moved mountains!!

Live Your Best Life!

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com

WITHIN YOU!!

If you feel frustrated with someone else, annoyed at the situation with them, feel resentment or dislike to another person… and you don’t want to feel like this anymore then… LOOK WITHIN.

Your unhappiness is never truly about the other person. Your answer does not lie in them. As much as you think it does, it doesn’t. The more you think it does the longer your frustration will exist.

Here is my Step By Step strategy for overcoming your life frustrations and finding your answers:

1. Decide to take responsibility for your situation and your feelings
2. Ask yourself ’so if it’s not them how can it be me?’
3. What am I really unhappy about?
4. What have I done, said or not done that may have caused this situation or feeling inside of me?
5. Accept your part
6. Now knowing this ask yourself ‘what am I going to do about it to make the situation and myself feel better?’
7. Run this strategy by a trusted friend, advisor or your life coach and then take the required action.

Examples of using this strategy

Frustrations with your boss!

1. I am now taking responsibility for my situation and my feelings towards my manager at work

2. It could be me because I know that I don’t say what I really want to say when she is asking me a question

3. I’m really unhappy with myself because I fail to contribute some great ideas, share different perspectives and/or simply answer the question

4. What I have therefore really done is let myself down

5. I accept this is the real reason I am so frustrated with my manager

6. To change this situation I am in, next time my manager asks me a question I will answer with what I really want to say

7. Ensure what you really want to say is right for your situation, don’t fear otherwise you will run right into your fear and remain respectful towards yourself and your manager when having your say.

Frustrations with your partner!

1. I am now taking responsibility for my current situation and my feelings towards my husband

2. It could be me because I know I haven’t made the time to spend quality time with him

3. I’m really unhappy with myself because I can’t seem to organise my life to make the time

4. What I have therefore really done is say yes to everyone else when really I should be saying yes to time with my husband. This is not putting my relationship as priority in my life.

5. I accept this is the real reason I am so frustrated with my husband

6. To change this situation I am in, I will say no more often to other less important commitments and make the time happen with my husband.

7. Remember sometimes people will yes to everyone else so as they don’t look bad in social circles and put their partners last thinking they will always love you. Also people can fill up their lives with ‘other stuff’ to avoid addressing the real hard issue of their relationship not being nearly as good as they would like it to be. The more you avoid your problem the bigger the problem will become. So there is no time like the present to address your real frustrations from within and feel the weight of your problems lift.

Live Your Best Life!

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com