Save time everyday by getting to the point! Improve your communication by saying LESS!

I’m all for small talk and chit chat at appropriate times or on a long lazy afternoon chatting to a friend but if you would like others to listen to you more, understand you better and save time then saying less is an important communication skill to have.

Often some people have really important things to say, idea’s, information, instruction and/or direction to share but they bury their words amongst so many other words that what they’re saying is not actually clear.

The drawbacks from talking too much can be:

• If you fail to get to the point you can risk your ideas being over-looked or going un-noticed. 
• You say too much trying to justify your point instead of staying it straight you can appear as being convincing instead of speaking with clear confidence and conviction.
• People can automatically tune out because you have a reputation of going on and on about… well not too much really!  

Why don’t people get to the point more often?

• They like the sound of their own voice!
• They feel they have to justify and convince others of their way or point of view
• They are hiding the truth

Facilitating our Jina Life Coaching Personal Development Programs and in my coaching role I have done a lot of listening to others talk.

Sometimes when listening to a client’s story, amongst all their words I can see the few that actually speak their truth.

I can then summarise this back to the client e.g: So Mary what you’re saying is that you are deciding to either stay with your husband or leave him.

And so many times with big talkers they reply back with oh that’s putting it a bit harsh isn’t it! But it’s in fact exactly what they’re thinking. Because they cover it up with all these other factors and aspects they fail to address their problems because they can’t see their own truth.

Why are people clouded by their own words and conversations they even have with themselves?

They do this so their truth and reality won’t look so bad, won’t be so bad when put into the bigger scheme of things….

The other thing I have noticed about big talkers who fail to get to the point is that they are the ones who struggle the most with getting things done. The just feel so overwhelmed with all the things in their life, all the tasks they need to do to get to their goals.

My advice tips in getting to the point are:

1. Try getting to the point more often this month.
2. Keep the social small talk where required but otherwise become conscious of getting straight to the point – just do it for fun and see how it goes for you!
3. When you are clear with what you say, it means you know exactly what it is you are trying to say. You know how people can talk for half an hour and then say ‘What I’m really trying to say is..’ Well just start there!
4. You look more confident and in control when you get to the point for clearly you know what you want and where you’re going.

Watch yourself save time for more fun things in your life!

Live Your Best Life!

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com

If you want to inspire others, build, lead or be part of a great team or family no matter what your position or role one of the key aspects in being successful is leading by example.

I’ve worked with several clients lately who are directors of their own businesses, also parents trying to lead their children the best they can who have inspired me to write this article.

I have seen how they expect someone in their team or son or daughter to do something yet they don’t do it themselves. They fail to lead by example. What then happens is that the staff member or child see this and then after a while simply think, well if you don’t do it why should I bother?

For example, if you’re a parent preaching to your children to get out there and out of their comfort zone but you aren’t and they see it, they will wonder why should they when you don’t. Or if you tell them they must apologise or admit when they’re wrong and you don’t guess what? Same thing again.

Remember a leader has followers so if you have followers they are going to follow what you do.

Such situations can also be disguised and therefore can easily goes unseen in leadership roles. For example in business or a corporate environment if someone isn’t doing something for you I bet there is an extremely high possibility you aren’t doing that same thing just in a different medium but has the same meaning.

E.g. if you complain that your team don’t uphold excellent customer service by either the way they present themselves stop and think about how you presenting yourself to your customers?

 CASE STUDY:

Georgia is the owner of a hairdressing salon was frustrated with her staff for they failed to greet every customer as soon as they entered and often arrived at work late looking less than tidy with their own hair. This annoyed Georgia no end and no matter how many times she asked and told them her expectations of them they wouldn’t do it.

What Georgia didn’t realise was that even though her priority was high quality customer service and presentation of the salon her staff would watch her book and squeeze in so many appointments that she was constantly late for her clients. How good a customer service is that they thought? She also spoke nicely to the customers but harshly towards the staff right in front of the customer. So her staff thought if she can’t be bothered being on time for the clients why should we jump to see them when they arrive plus speak with them nicely when she can’t even speak to us nicely?

Once Georgia could see this she immediately stopped being late for the clients, even though she had to book less in her quality of service increased dramatically for Georgia also stopped disrespecting her staff in front of the customer and all her staff became happier, arrived on time, greeted each customer as soon as they arrived and took pride in their appearance.  Why? Because this is what the leader did and they followed. This was the ‘done thing’ now in that salon and all followed suit.

If you are having problems with staff living up to your expectations in any area and think they could be doing better, being more efficient and providing better customer service first look within. How are you performing in these areas?

Top Tips for Leading by Example:

Ensure you get yourself sorted that you are inspired to be living your life and happy about coming to work yourself! When you’re inspired you have a great chance of those feelings rubbing off on your team, colleagues and family members!

If you want to be respected first you must respect yourself then respect all others

If you want more love – give more love!

If you want others to strive the be their best – you got it you must do this too

Don’t be afraid to be an energetic leader!

Once you have learnt or mastered something make sure you teach it to someone else within two weeks. Doing so will increase your own learning and retention of that knew knowledge or skill up to 80% where as if you don’t you are likely to have only a 50% retention rate. So learn and share, teach this not only helps another person but significantly helps your success.

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No   : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email    : jacqueline@jinalife.com

This is my 100th article I’ve written on lifestyle topics for Jina Life and I have been inspired by the Youth Leadership Program I’m currently running at Kadinia International College through Toastmasters International as this week’s focus was listening skills. The importance of showing respect, paying attention and being a good audience when someone else is speaking.

But in this article I’m going to take it deeper to discuss who you should listen to when seeking advice on challenging life decisions.

I quote Ralph Waldo Emerson…

“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.”

So how do you know who you should listen to and who are your biggest critics?

The reason why there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong is because everyone has their own opinion and perception of your situation. You must realise they are fully entitled to their own opinion but remember they are looking at your situation from where they stand. Now this can often be extremely beneficial gaining advice from someone looking from the outside in. However these perceptions can also sometimes be biased depending on who you’re listening to. Perhaps advice simply on what they would do if they were you, or advice for you that keeps them happy. You may want to believe that everyone you ask for advice has your best interests at heart but don’t be mistaken and also realise at the end of the day – they are not you.

When it comes down to it you must make your own decisions in life and you are the one that has to live with them. Gaining outside advice can be paramount in helping you live your best life especially when it’s in an area you don’t have professional skills in or would just like to save yourself from making mistakes you see others do.

Keep in mind some people just can’t see or share your vision until you’ve created it for them to physically see. Others can help you see your path more clearly faster. Some can see your mistakes before you make them.

Think back to your past, who have you listened to, followed their advice and it turned out well? Then who in the past have you allowed yourself to listen to, made you feel better at the time but it worked out badly or you live with regrets from following that advice?

Bad advice for you generally goes against your inner instinct. When you’re faced with a decision and are struggling to make it, it can often mean your darkness or fear is tempting you to take the wrong path as opposed to the right path for you.

Ultimately you want to establish who no matter what, will tell you the truth and what you NEED to hear not always what you WANT to hear when you become challenged with a decision to make.

The reason you want to establish this early is because when you find yourself faced with a tough decision you want to be sure if seeking advice you will go straight to the person you know and trust, who understands you and shares your values and vision and not to those who don’t, yet you may be drawn to. The wrong people are those who will help you justify your decision over making the right decision for you.

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No   : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email    : jacqueline@jinalife.com