If you are constantly bombarded with phone calls from others demanding your urgent attention to address an issue, answer a question, resolve a problem and put out all the fires for them…

Guess what?

You actually want this!

That’s right – You are getting all this attention because you actually want it and have attracted it to yourself.

You may think but no I do not want this especially on my day off when I just feel like getting away and being free – people still call and they can’t seem to move on and live without me even for one precious day.

On top of this you feel you can’t let them be to take care of it themselves either.

Now we’re all needed by other people in our lives and that’s a wonderful thing to have but not when things become so out of balance that you feel you can’t even take a second to take a breath.

Also sometimes there are emergencies, but I’m not talking about occasional urgent calls that only you can resolve or your loved ones just wanting to talk to you. I’m talking about those people who can’t have a one hour meeting without coming out of it with at least three urgent phone messages. Those who can’t get their work done at work due to constant demands on them and those who can’t take a day off without being interrupted by all the people calling them.    

So why do people in this situation want this?

Because they desperately want to feel needed. They want to feel wanted. When they lack feeling really needed and wanted by the most important people in their lives and their life partners they fill the void by getting it from others. As many others as possible and then the number just grows and grows.

They love it the majority of the time because it does make them feel good for a while, but like any filling of voids soon enough it gets too much and you feel more empty than the void itself.

Then these people resent the demanding people they have in their lives and wish they could just leave them alone for just one day.

So if this is you, as much as you may not like to think it is, but if your attention is demanded 24/7 365 a year you have constant urgent demands from others… here are my tips for you!

1. You need to work on empowering others. AND when you empower others to do things remember they probably won’t be as good at it as you are in the beginning. But I’m sure you didn’t get your skills in this area overnight either. The only way they will learn and be able to take more responsibility off you in the long run is to let them go through the teething process. The more you try and take the ownership back (because you want everyone calling and wanting you and/or you can just do it faster) the longer this process and issue you have of ‘no time to yourself’ will last.

2. When people ask for your advice or what to do in a situation, ask them what they think and answer or solution is first. When they get it right it gives them confidence that they actually know a lot of the answers themselves and thus don’t need you as much. Again don’t be afraid of not being needed – if you’re in fear you will just run right into your own fear.

3. Don’t answer your phone on your day off, let work carry on without you and work on your personal relationship/s.

4. Teach people that if they want to get hold of you they may need to wait. This way others will learn to look ahead for potential issues and book you in first with notice taking away the constant urgency of task and last minute issue resolution.

5. Know your own worth and work on your self confidence.

Live Your Best Life!

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com

There are no excuses – you either do or you do not. How many excuses can and will you throw out the window this week to make Positive Change  in your life and take a leap forward towards your goals?
 

Live Your Best Life!

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com

Save time everyday by getting to the point! Improve your communication by saying LESS!

I’m all for small talk and chit chat at appropriate times or on a long lazy afternoon chatting to a friend but if you would like others to listen to you more, understand you better and save time then saying less is an important communication skill to have.

Often some people have really important things to say, idea’s, information, instruction and/or direction to share but they bury their words amongst so many other words that what they’re saying is not actually clear.

The drawbacks from talking too much can be:

• If you fail to get to the point you can risk your ideas being over-looked or going un-noticed. 
• You say too much trying to justify your point instead of staying it straight you can appear as being convincing instead of speaking with clear confidence and conviction.
• People can automatically tune out because you have a reputation of going on and on about… well not too much really!  

Why don’t people get to the point more often?

• They like the sound of their own voice!
• They feel they have to justify and convince others of their way or point of view
• They are hiding the truth

Facilitating our Jina Life Coaching Personal Development Programs and in my coaching role I have done a lot of listening to others talk.

Sometimes when listening to a client’s story, amongst all their words I can see the few that actually speak their truth.

I can then summarise this back to the client e.g: So Mary what you’re saying is that you are deciding to either stay with your husband or leave him.

And so many times with big talkers they reply back with oh that’s putting it a bit harsh isn’t it! But it’s in fact exactly what they’re thinking. Because they cover it up with all these other factors and aspects they fail to address their problems because they can’t see their own truth.

Why are people clouded by their own words and conversations they even have with themselves?

They do this so their truth and reality won’t look so bad, won’t be so bad when put into the bigger scheme of things….

The other thing I have noticed about big talkers who fail to get to the point is that they are the ones who struggle the most with getting things done. The just feel so overwhelmed with all the things in their life, all the tasks they need to do to get to their goals.

My advice tips in getting to the point are:

1. Try getting to the point more often this month.
2. Keep the social small talk where required but otherwise become conscious of getting straight to the point – just do it for fun and see how it goes for you!
3. When you are clear with what you say, it means you know exactly what it is you are trying to say. You know how people can talk for half an hour and then say ‘What I’m really trying to say is..’ Well just start there!
4. You look more confident and in control when you get to the point for clearly you know what you want and where you’re going.

Watch yourself save time for more fun things in your life!

Live Your Best Life!

For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com