If you are constantly bombarded with phone calls from others demanding your urgent attention to address an issue, answer a question, resolve a problem and put out all the fires for them…
Guess what?
You actually want this!
That’s right – You are getting all this attention because you actually want it and have attracted it to yourself.
You may think but no I do not want this especially on my day off when I just feel like getting away and being free – people still call and they can’t seem to move on and live without me even for one precious day.
On top of this you feel you can’t let them be to take care of it themselves either.
Now we’re all needed by other people in our lives and that’s a wonderful thing to have but not when things become so out of balance that you feel you can’t even take a second to take a breath.
Also sometimes there are emergencies, but I’m not talking about occasional urgent calls that only you can resolve or your loved ones just wanting to talk to you. I’m talking about those people who can’t have a one hour meeting without coming out of it with at least three urgent phone messages. Those who can’t get their work done at work due to constant demands on them and those who can’t take a day off without being interrupted by all the people calling them.
So why do people in this situation want this?
Because they desperately want to feel needed. They want to feel wanted. When they lack feeling really needed and wanted by the most important people in their lives and their life partners they fill the void by getting it from others. As many others as possible and then the number just grows and grows.
They love it the majority of the time because it does make them feel good for a while, but like any filling of voids soon enough it gets too much and you feel more empty than the void itself.
Then these people resent the demanding people they have in their lives and wish they could just leave them alone for just one day.
So if this is you, as much as you may not like to think it is, but if your attention is demanded 24/7 365 a year you have constant urgent demands from others… here are my tips for you!
1. You need to work on empowering others. AND when you empower others to do things remember they probably won’t be as good at it as you are in the beginning. But I’m sure you didn’t get your skills in this area overnight either. The only way they will learn and be able to take more responsibility off you in the long run is to let them go through the teething process. The more you try and take the ownership back (because you want everyone calling and wanting you and/or you can just do it faster) the longer this process and issue you have of ‘no time to yourself’ will last.
2. When people ask for your advice or what to do in a situation, ask them what they think and answer or solution is first. When they get it right it gives them confidence that they actually know a lot of the answers themselves and thus don’t need you as much. Again don’t be afraid of not being needed – if you’re in fear you will just run right into your own fear.
3. Don’t answer your phone on your day off, let work carry on without you and work on your personal relationship/s.
4. Teach people that if they want to get hold of you they may need to wait. This way others will learn to look ahead for potential issues and book you in first with notice taking away the constant urgency of task and last minute issue resolution.
5. Know your own worth and work on your self confidence.
Live Your Best Life!
For more information
Contact : Jacqueline Pigdon
Tel No : +61 (0) 404 362 379
Email : jacqueline@jinalife.com
